Meet Tristan

Hello all, my name is Tristan, and I am one-fourth of the Swinky Life crew and co-host of The Accidental Swingers podcast with my wife of nearly 30 years, Myrina. I am difficult to define and I generally eschew labels, however some elements are consistent: I am naturally submissive and I consider myself a hedonist and a sensualist, and for the most part I prefer the softer side of kink and BDSM (that is unless I am on the receiving end). At my core I am drawn to and take immense pleasure in serving and pleasing strong, confident women.

But as with everything else in life desire, sex and sexuality can only realistically be expressed and described as existing on a continuum, and I nimbly travel along the continuum. Who I am and where I am on the continuum really just depends upon what is going on in my world at a particular time, whether I’m feeling empowered or disempowered, who you are, and where, when and how you engage me. Of course I have a solid, core foundation that does not change… my loyalty, purpose, and love…. but most everything else is quite fluid, particularly where sex is concerned.

Becoming comfortable with kink and BDSM has been a slow, evolutionary process for me. My wife Myrina and I are very active swingers, and we came to the kink universe via the swinger world. Our first swinger dating site profile said, among other things, “we are very open minded and adventurous with very few rules, however we are not into BDSM”. That is a direct quote, and for us that was absolutely true… until that position wasn’t any longer true or useful. We became curious about kink and BDSM after meeting a new play partner through swinging who was patient enough to integrate kinky play into conventional play a little at a time over the course of several months. We had a measured and comfortably paced introduction to kink: first toys, then light restraint, then light impact with implements that were visually not overly-intimidating, and gradually our comfort level and confidence grew. Then we found ourselves very intrigued by kink and BDSM, and now here we are… It didn’t just happen, but we evolved and our interests and our collective comfort levels expanded as we met new people and gradually had new experiences.

As we began our journey as swingers there were other “nevers” that we established. We were never going to develop intimate emotional relationships with our play partners… until we did develop intimate, emotional, loving relationships with some of our play partners. There are so many things we were not interested in at first, or thought we weren’t interested in, and would never try, and certainly would never actually do on a regular basis…. until we were interested in those things, and until we did try those things, and until we decided yes, we will do those things on a regular basis, because they are fun and fucking hot as shit. So now here we are. And our journey is just now beginning.

Now I find myself in multiple relationships that are complicated, yet simple at the same time. Myrina is my wife, my soulmate and my first love, Crimson Dragonfly is my lover and my dear friend and I love her immensely and am completely intoxicated by her. I love them both, and I love the polyamorous “square” that we have developed among myself, my wife Myrina, my lover Crimson Dragonfly, and her husband (and my wife’s lover) Phoenix Phyre.

I’m polyamorous, but I’m also a swinger. I’m devoted and loyal, but I’m also unreservedly non-monogamous. I love and cherish making love to my wife and I love and cherish making love to my polyamorous partner, friend and lover, but I also love simply fucking… whether it’s women that I am connected to and love, or women that I’m connected to where that connection falls short of love, and of course there is the raw animalism of simply fucking a woman at a party I either just met or whose name I will never know.

I love it all, and I defy categorization. Despite being primarily submissive, I do love being a service top depending upon my partner and what they are seeking in a particular encounter. I’m the husband of an insatiable Hotwife and certain elements of cuckolding enter our play from time to time and I love that dynamic; yet I’m not a cuckold and I’m certainly not denied and I am free to feed my own insatiable sexual appetite with whomever I choose (and I certainly do). The reality is that none of us are not a “this” or a “that,” rather we are many things in one package; I certainly am. We just manifest and present differently at different times in our journey.

And my journey is just beginning.