The King and Queen (and King and Queen) of Naughty N’awlins

The Swinky Life team spent last week in New Orleans at the world’s largest swinger convention, Naughty N’awlins.  This year, we presented two workshops, and Myrina was the Naughty Head Mistress in charge of the educational tracks.  It was a very busy week, and a great time as always.  But this year was so much more…

Welcome Home

Over the last two years, we have met so many amazing people, made so many great connections, and it has finally reached a point where anytime I look around at Naughty, I see people I know, really have some connection with, and this is very unusual for me, I am not really a very social person.  So at a time when I was feeling even less social than usual (it has been a challenging few months) I am suddenly immersed into this sea of acceptance and love and friendship that was just amazing and uplifting and exactly what my soul needed.

Moving the Needle for the Movement

One of the big changes for us over the last year is how involved we have become in ways other than just our own classes and presentations.  Based largely on the feedback and responses from our class attendees over the last year, and from listeners of The Accidental Swingers podcast, we have realized we have a voice, and listeners, and impact.  It is humbling and touching, and we take it seriously, and so we have begun to align ourselves with people, projects, and organizations that also advocate for the rights of everyone to live freely, authentically, and openly in their chosen sexuality and expression.  As such, we are becoming members with Open and with NCSF, and joined The ENM Summit earlier this year.

Embracing our Polyamory

Over the last two years, as Covid has subsided and the LifeStyle scene has begun to resurge in the wake of that, we have discovered that being a poly foursome in a swinger’s world is not easy.  There are many challenges and lessons for us, and we will discuss them in detail in time.  But for now, we work on finding our own way, and staying as connected as possible to our communities.  Parties and gatherings can be difficult, as others percieve us as “already taken” or “not interested” or “not really swingers”… but through it all, we remain tight and dedicated to our own square, one another, and ourselves.  We wear this loudly and proudly, and the few other quads we have bumped into express similar concerns, sometimes very privately, to us, so we know there is a conversation to be had there as well.  And maybe, more than anything, this was the deciding factor… that we own it all, the polyamory, the kink, the ethical non-monogamy… we refuse to compromise and make choices that make labeling us easier to someone else.  We simply stay true to who we are, regardless and unapologetically.

Our Crowning Moment

Every year at Naughty a King and Queen are chosen, someone who in the eyes of the choosers is supporting the cause in a positive way. We do not know, really, why, or even how, the choice was made, but through some process, it was, and we were told a flimsy tale to make sure we were in the room at the right moment.  As Bob talked about the year, and the event, in his comments leading up to the announcement, he spoke of earlier kings and queens, and mentioned a throuple… that is when my ears perked up.  A moment later, he said something about a quad, and I felt the universe shift around me… I knew there were only a very few quads in the building.  Then he began calling our names, and I was shocked… rarely have I felt so honored and undeserving.  As we joined Bob and Tess and the rest on stage to be crowned, it was surreal and unbelievable, and an amazingly emotional moment.

It was a momentous night for all of us, and we spent much of the rest of the (already late) evening coming back together as The Square and doing a few special things just for us, to share and commemorate the specialness  of the night.

And then, just like that, it was all over, and everyone went home, including us.  Nearly a week later, there are still suitcases to unpack, social media posts like this one to create, pictures to sort and manage, and normal lives and jobs to jump back into.  But we are still, for another 51 weeks, the King and Queen and King and Queen of Naughty Nawlins.  With this blog, we create a new category just for this.  We are planning many adventures to try and make our reigh fun, and meaningful, and we will journal our adventures here, so stay tuned.

One year from today, I very much want to look over my shoulder, and be able to honestly say, “It was good to be the king!”

~ Phoenix