Meet Myrina

Have you ever done something that you NEVER thought you’d do … but somehow ended up doing it anyway? Welcome to the story of my life for the last four and a half years. Little did I know that by accepting an innocent invitation to dinner, I’d wind up pushing boundaries, exploring unknown territories and totally redefining myself, my sensuality and my sexuality. 

What’s My Label?

I wrote a profile piece for a kink website a year or so ago that spoke to the fact I was challenged by finding THE “label” to identify myself. Their list was long and inclusive. But what to choose? I could easily identify as a: Swinger, Kinkster, Hotwife, Hedonist, Exhibitionist, Polyamorist, Rigger, Rope Bunny, Domme, Sadomasochist, etc. My list is long. But it is also fluid. It changes depending on my mood, my playmate, my location. 

I decided to forego a label that focuses on a “trait” and chose to go with something that explains my personal journey more holistically.

I am … evolving.

The Foundation of Me

These past four and a half years have taught me so much about myself, my relationships and my life. 

Raised in a traditional family, my father was in the military, my mother was the June Clever type, and a younger sister who was always, well … a younger sister. In my family, we didn’t talk about sex. We didn’t talk about money. We didn’t talk about relationships. My parents rarely fought in front of us. My upbringing was “idyllic”. “Normal”. Everyday vanilla.

In college I finally started to explore my sexuality. I fucked A LOT of men. Had a few “lesbian” experiences. All fun, but later in life I realized during that period of my life, I was really just trying to fill a void, or get approval from men, validation even, much more than exploring or fulfilling my needs or desires. I fucked for approval, I fucked in the hopes of finding love.

Blindsided by the Unexpected

Fast forward to January 2018 and an innocent dinner date with neighbors down the street that changed our lives forever. Unbeknownst to us, our neighbors were living a non-monogamous lifestyle. They were swingers. And they thought Tristan and I were the perfect candidates to become swingers as well … 

They were right. 

And while the initial playdate with our neighbors did not go well, we jumped into the lifestyle and never looked back! (Find out more about our journey into the swinger lifestyle by listening to the Accidental Swingers podcast HERE or anywhere you listen to your favorite podcasts.) 

My personal lifestyle journey has reawakened a part of me that I’d completely lost track of and has helped me redefine who I am as a woman. I’ve taken control over my sexuality. My body does things now that it didn’t know how to do five years ago! I am multi-orgasmic, I have learned how to be confident and comfortable in my own skin. I have multiple play partners and lovers with whom I choose to share my body and my mind. I’ve had boyfriends and anonymous sex and everything in between. 

Opening my marriage and being a swinger has also given me the opportunity to explore my bi-sexuality … a label I am not at all comfortable with and that, not surprisingly, doesn’t feel like it fits me. I thought I would love having sex with women. I get turned on when I watch girl-on-girl porn, so that means I am bi-sexual, right? 

Not so much. I had the wonderful opportunity to be with four amazing women and yet the attraction, the connection, the intimacy and the excitement I feel with men I’m interested in just wasn’t there. I was clearly NOT bi-sexual. Until I met “her”. 

• Attraction? Check! 
• Connection? Check! 
• Intimacy? Check!
• Excitement? DOUBLE check, check!!

The experience with “her” opened my mind again to the opportunity of being with women. And it helped me define what I already knew deep down, that for me, sexual and intellectual attraction go hand-in-hand and it does not matter if that person is a man or a woman. I just hadn’t met the right woman who checked all those boxes for me.

Yet, I Am Still Evolving

In 2019, Tristan and I met a playmate who introduced us to the world of kink and BDSM. With a plan, patience and precision, we allowed ourselves to open up, explore our boundaries and begin to push through them and past them, moving the line further and further down the spectrum in the different areas of kink and bdsm we’ve explored. 

Amongst all of that, then the most amazing, unexpected, life-changing thing happened. Tristan and I met, dated, and fell in love with another couple. Tristan with her; me with him. With Phoenix Phyre and Crimson Dragonfly, we have built a life and created a new and fabulous dynamic which we classify as an ethically non-monogamous, open, swinging, kinky, polyamourous Quad (or Square, as we only play with each other’s spouses). (Read our story in my blog “The Accidental Foursome”.) 

It’s All About the Evolution

So, yes, STILL evolving. I am ecstatic with the possibilities of what the future holds for me. I know there is no one word, or label, that can define me. I am amazed at how my life has changed, in leaps and bounds, for the better and the new woman who is emerging. It is so cliche but such a good analogy; I am the butterfly emerging from her chrysalis of being a wife, a mom and a career professional into a new world of sensuality, sexuality and exploring and expanding my boundaries. And the woman emerging from that chrysalis is colorful, bold, beautiful and, mark my words, just getting started!

~ Myrina